Wonderful World of Blogs

I sit here outside the bathroom watching Vanessa take her bath. As I was getting her ready to get in the tub I thought about grabbing a book to read (her baths are usually an hour long, if not longer. The girl loves the tub and playtime with Mom only lasts so long) but felt myself instead being pulled to the computer and the blogs I love to read. I was disappointed to find that none of my friends had updated their blogs. Why was I pulled here? What was I going to read now? I then started my 'stalking.'

Some of you may remember the story of a little boy that was found not breathing in his parents' bathtub last year. My friend knows the family and had told me about his mom's blog that she was writing as they struggled through the trial and then miracle of his quick recovery. I read each and every day, sharing in their tears and joy but not long after his recovery I quit reading. Today I felt inspired to look at her blog again. She shared a story of her little guy and his love for his Buzz Lightyear toy and how his love for it has broken his one wing. She said how every time the wing breaks he comes to her crying wanting her to fix it. It happened over and over again and each time she would love him to calm him down, show him how to fix it and then fix it for him. Again it would break, and again he'd come crying and again Mom would love him and fix it. She then likened it to herself and our Heavenly Father. I'll quote her because I can't say it as well as she did,

"How many times have I done this?
Made the same choice, over and over expecting a different result?
Hoping I could haphazardly use the same carelessness
and not experience the same heartache?
And how many times have I run, broken wing dangling,
right to my Father in Heaven,
begging...
desperate for Him to fix it...
yet again?
Wondering if He could?
If He would?
~
And yet always His constant, loving reply.
Reassurance.
Consolation.
Unconditional patience.
Understanding.
Peace for my troubling soul.
He straightens the wing...
Then straightens the girl...
Then sends me back out on my way."

I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS!!!! It was exactly what I needed today!! I unfortunately am guilty of this. I continue to make the same choices over and over and then run to my loving Heavenly Father for him to 'fix' me. I too often take my weaknesses to him and expect him to fix me but I don't do any work on my own so once again I break and turn to him again. He continues to amaze me at how time and time again he 'straightens the wing, then straightens the girl' and sends me on my way. He doesn't chastise me for breaking again just lovingly 'straightens' me and waits for me to return, broken again. I am so grateful that I know my Heavenly Father and Redeemer are there for me. I am grateful they love me for all my weaknesses and breaks and continue to love me even though I don't always learn the first, second, third, and sometimes hundredth time. I'm grateful they send many angels into my life, whether they know they are angels to me or become my angels because of my blog stalking, to help me as I struggle and to teach me things I can't seem to learn on my own. I'm thankful for the opportunity my Heavenly Father gives me to continue to try and try and try again.

I found this quote by President Hinckley today too...

"Each of us can do a little better than we have been doing. We can be a little more kind. We can be a little more merciful. We can be a little more forgiving. We can put behind us our weaknesses of the past, and go forth with new energy and increased resolution to improve the world about us, in our homes, in our places of employment, in our social activities.

We have work to do, you and I, so very much of it. Let us roll up our sleeves and get at it, with a new commitment, putting our trust in the Lord.

We can do it, if we will be prayerful and faithful. We can do better than we have ever done before."-Gordon B. Hinckley

I continue to struggle finding balance in my life. I really have a hard time balancing being Mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, Candace, etc, etc. I feel like I have so many balls to juggle many of them are dropped over and over again. And so many people suffer because I drop a ball when they need it most. Lately I have felt like giving up but after reading this quote, I am ready to 'roll up my sleeves and get at it.' I am ready to do better than I have been doing. I am ready to be a better wife, mother, friend, homemaker, and daughter of God! I am just grateful I have so many forgiving people in my life who continue to love me despite my uncoordinated life. I really am going to try harder for each of you!